“You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has lost its taste (purpose), how can it be made salty? It is no longer good for anything, but to be thrown out and walked on by people [when the walkways are wet and slippery].” Matthew 5:13, Amplified Bible
How could this happen? Why didn’t I see the warning signs? I blamed it on life events. I justified my thoughts and behaviors with a litany of excuses: job changes, family emergencies, getting old(er). The salt has lost its taste.
“If we are not careful, we can allow life to get us into the same old ruts and routines without even realizing it. Our relationship with [God] can suffer the same fate. When we don’t do what it takes to stay sharp and sensitive to the Holy Spirit, our praise, worship, offerings, and even our preaching can become heartless routines to God. As a believer, you can pray, read your Bible, and go to church week after week and still be losing sight of your first love. It is not that you don’t love [God], but the business of life can bring you to the point of losing your freshness, your enthusiasm, and your sensitivity to His Spirit and what pleases Him .“
One of the first steps to change is awareness. Today, I woke up completely aware, aware that I wasn’t going to spend another day letting myself become the salt that isn’t good for anything except for people to walk on when the sidewalks are icy. Now that I’m aware, I need desire. I need desire that is stronger than the pain to change. I need desire that develops stamina and doesn’t promote quitting when things get too hard and doesn’t promote perfectionism that can’t be sustained.
For the first time in my life, I’m going to make a commitment without a plan. If I expect a different result, I can’t keep doing things the same way. If I make a commitment solely to change, then I’m not imposing unrealistic expectations that could impede progress. I’m simply committing to a path of discovery, discovery that will uncover my true desires. I may not like what I find. Or I may be delighted. Either way, for the first time in years, I’m more excited than apprehensive. I’m more confident than afraid. I’m more determined than apathetic.
For the next 40 days, I’m letting go. I am purging old thoughts to create a new mindset. I am getting rid of the things that do not serve the purpose God intended for me. I am purging physically and mentally until I uncover my true desires.
As a starting point, I’m evaluating self-care. This morning, I began the day with prayer and meditation. I revisited a book that I read many years ago by Jentezen Franklin called Fasting–Opening the Door to a Deeper, More Intimate, More Powerful Relationship with God. I thoroughly cleaned the bathroom, did a total body brush to remove old skin, and took a 20-minute Epsom salt bath. I drank my normal black coffee, nothing added, and had a cup of Holy Basil (Tulsi) tea without sweetener a few hours later. I have quite a bit of work to do in the next eight hours, so I may try to keep my energy levels up with plain bone broth and black coffee. Combining significant water intake with fresh produce from my garden should help, but I know it won’t be easy. I love cheese and olive oil and anything creamy and dense. But if I want to change, surrender and sacrifice are key to the process.
Prior to today, this entry would’ve been in a private journal. But in the spirit of change, I’m making my intention public. Hold me accountable. Join me in my journey. Learn from my letting go. Watch me become salty gain.
 J. Franklin, Fasting–Opening the Door to a Deeper, More Intimate, More Powerful Relationship with God, Lake Mary, Florida: Charisma House, 2008, p. 69.